Siblings.....Gotta Love'm

*Gives Kehnesh a huge hug* Thanks. I know you told me that before, but I guess in my case, it never hurts to hear it again....and again.....and again.....and again.....lol
I hate to say it, but I'd most definitely have to agree with you. The only thing I dislike about giving advice is that sometimes when you give it, your advice may also apply to yourself, and while others always tell you "Take your own advice", it's easier said than done....

reply......

*insane sessome dance.* Hee hee what else would a good trainer do besides slap reality in your face every once in a while? Emotions are just that emotions. Someone once told me a long time ago after I broke it off with eric, when I said that I just wanted them all to go away. I was asked this. Where will you be when you truly do need those emotions that you carelessly wished away when you want to feel so bad. Our emotions are precious because with out them we all be carbon copys of everyone else. sure we would look different but we would all be sensless robots with out purpose. Stay strong Kia, when I get done with you you will still have emotion but you will know the right and wrong times to use it. .... hmmm maybe I should follow my own advice sometimes.

Renewed

Thanks Kehnesh. I really needed that, and thank you as well, Vetah for pretty much slapping me in the face with what I NEEDED to hear. If there was one thing I could change about myself, it would be to seal my emotions away, never to be released, and start letting my mind and instinct guide me instead of my heart. What can I say? It's always been my biggest flaw, one I've hated so much and considered (and still consider) my curse.
Vetah, all I can say is that I'm starting to see what I'm supposed to see concerning the Verbrechen and your decisions concerning it. And although you have my compliance, don't think I'll go easy on you......After all, I can't let you get away with everything.........lol

pain

Kiaria,
I know you are going through a tough time right now. I wish that I could help you, but yet I know that all I can is listen when you talk. Remember, he will be alright. While I may have been the "heart and soul" of the Verbrechen, he was always the strongest. So not only will he be alright but I promise you this right now ... you will be to. The fact is is that while things in our lives try to tear us down ... we always come back fighting harder and a hell of a lot stronger then before. You are my sister and while I may feel helpless in making your pain die down I know that I will always be there as a rock for you to lean on. What can I say ... thats what I am good at lol. Stay strong Kiaria .

To My Commander

Then I guess I have no option but to comply. You're the one above me, therefore outranking me. The dicision is ultimately yours, and whether or not I like it, I understand I have to obey it.
All I ask is this: wait to bring people in. Allow Kehnesh and I the chance to at least establish the rules and guidelines and codes of command before we actually bring people in. Without these, we have nothing.......

Daemonu Shanah

Just as I thought. You continue to read this just as I predicted you would. I'm glad to hear you are moving on, as am I glad to hear you have finally found your strength. I truly do hope you find one that won't restrict you as I have done, and to be completely honest, I can say the same of you. You said you knew me, yet you knew nothing of who I really was. All you saw was what I wanted you to see. You never really knew the true me, because I hid it from you since I knew you would only criticize me for it. I'm glad you're proud of who you are, as am I. I only hid behind my strength and facades for you. I knew that if I was not strong during those times, you wouldn't be either; that anytime I became weak, so would you in your fragile states of mind. I am now at a place, surrounded by friends who judge me not, so I no longer have to hide behind such things.
And if I've become a woman you don't even recognize anymore, that just goes to show how little you knew me to begin with....

Overwhelming Void

I sit here, my mind completely blank, feeling like I'm in an emotional and mental void that's swallowing me whole, that won't ever go away. For the past week I've tried to think about things other than the shit that occurred Mon-Wed of last week, yet I can't think of anything at all. That same numbness I've endured before is back, and I feel like everything I've ever loved has just....disappeared, fallen off the face of the earth. I'm back to the point where I'm not feeling hungry 24/7 so I barely ever eat, and I'm annoying both Kehnesh and Vetah to the point where they're now ordering me to eat. (I love you guys...) Aside from that, life keeps flinging shit my way, but the only thing I can do is stand there and laugh. Laugh at the way my life is, laugh at all the mistakes I've made, laugh at all the disappointments I've had, laugh at the depression that is slowly overwhelming me, laugh at the fact that I miss my friends and family so much but I can't even see them. This darkness has slowly been overtaking me for months, but now I'm almost ready to succumb, ready to give in, ready to not feel anything once again......

Verbrechen Reborn

Well, the Verbrechen has been reborn, and I actually can't believe it. Lee finally reformed it, and has appointed Kehnesh and I Regional Lt's, meaning WE have an active part in deciding who joins and who doesn't.

And siren, in case you visit my blog because of my response to your comment, Kehnesh and I are in full agreement that you're NOT in....

Pathetic Little Wench

What can I honestly say other than this sitch has progressed yet another level. *sigh* These immature, pathetic excuses for human beings merely annoy me because of their stupidity. And so this message is for them.


I already know you have my sn, and my friend's, so if you get this url, it really wouldn't surprise me.

First of all, this is college, so GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!!! The childish things you're doing is for high school, not college. College is for civilized human beings, which I can tell by the way you talk and act that you're not.
Second, you say I don't know anything about you, and while that may be true, the same applies for you. You don't know anything about me other than what that whiny brat has told your "sis", if she even is your sister...
Third, if you really don't know what you're talking about, which in fact you don't, then you really need to shut up. Running around, calling people "bitch" and "whore" just goes to show how immature you really are, not to mention how little you actually know.
And fourth, get a life. Just because I've done something to offend that pathetic little wench your sister calls her "friend" doesn't mean you OR your sis have the right to get in my face about it. As she just recently told MY friend: THIS IS BETWEEN HER AND ME, NO ONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!
So my advice to you is: BACK OFF.

Dedication

I'm not necessarily saying who I'm dedicating this to, but you already know who you are......

SAVAGE GARDEN

"Crash And Burn"

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

And there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Training

Damn. So much to learn from you, Vetah and Kehnesh, so fuckin little time to learn it in. The conversations I've been having with both of you have proven most informative, considering I'm new to this kind of warrior's path. You two walk the same path, whereas I walk a different, but I guess it's now time to merge the paths together.
I'm just glad I learn quickly, although we'll see just how quickly when Kehnesh actually begins training me.....
And Vetah, rest assured knowing that I'm easily able to apply what you've taught me to what Kehnesh is teaching me, and vice-versa.....I wouldn't want you to worry bout me too much.....lol

Miss You Both

Vetah, god I miss you, you AND Kehnesh. Each day I'm here at college seems to get a little more difficult, not to mention complicated. I honestly don't know what started all this shit here, but I'm glad you two have been helping me through it. I know things are particularly difficult at this time for you, especially the loneliness part. I know exactly how that is, wanting to hear a familiar voice just for the sake of keeping sane....I've been there myself on several occasions.....
I know it's only been 2 almost 3 months, but just think, in a few more months you'll be able to come home, to see the faces that you feel you've forgotten. And we'll be here, ready and waiting to help reconnect you to what's going on here, to refamiliarize you with things that may seem out of place.
As long as you keep us in your thoughts, in your heart, then you will never be alone. In those times when the darkness seems to overtake you, I know you'll find comfort in remembering each of us and all the good times you shared with all of us. So do me a favor, DON'T EVER FORGET THEM!!! We all care about you. Just remember that.......
Kehnesh, sis, we haven't even known each other 3 months yet, but we're already so close. I thank you for that, and I thank Vetah for introducing us. Getting to know you has been an exciting experience, one i can't and never will forget. He was right, you're one of the toughest females I now know of, and I'd be proud to be half as strong as you are.
I really do appreciate all the ways you've helped me out, first with billy, and then with this shit currently going on (which I won't ever discuss in my blog. but for those of you involved, you know who you are.....)
I'm glad you have all the knowledge you do, because now, the knowledge you're passing on to me, along with the knowledge Vetah's pounded into my brain will finally be put to good use.


So thank you both, and I miss you so much I would do almost anything just to see you 2.....

Not Afraid

What can I say? This situation doesn't even have me scared, even though I know I probably should be. I'm not. Only concerned. Everything last night happened so fast, it all seems like a blur. But I can still remember everything so clearly, like an extremely vivid nightmare you just want to forget but can't. I know what I felt, know what I saw, and if I wasn't me, I'd think I was going crazy. Knowing that you two (Vetah and Kehnesh) have my back helps a lot, more than you know, or ever will know.
And Vera, thanks for the support. I'm just glad I've been here to help you as much as you've helped me....

Always Stand Strong and Never Give Up

Well, my dear readers, this situation with my now ex-boyfriend's sister will finally be resolved. For those of you who know me but don't know the sitch, don't bother asking me, because I won't tell you.
This is between her and myself.


Vetah and Kehnesh, what would I do without your guidance, for you both have taught me so much as to how to protect myself. I won't let either of you down. I'll be fine, so don't worry about me. I have two of the best possible teachers standing by my side, ready to help me out. What more could I possibly ask for?
And Vetah, don't worry about me. Kehnesh and I have everything taken care of, just as you said we would. I'll be fine. Just concentrate on what you need to do, and leave this all to us. *smile* You know I won't go down without a fight. You know I'll go to the finish. Just like you know I can do this.
As for me, I'm glad you both claimed me as your own, just as I have done the same with you.

Finally Free

For so long I've been tied down that I've forgotten what it feels like to be free, to be unattached. It's like I'm discovering my freedom for the first time. No boyfriend to tell me what to do, how to do it, what I can do, what I can't do, can't make me promise him to NOT do what I really WANT to do. And it feels great. I'm finally able to go have whatever kind of fun I want to have, and not have him worry about me. I can't help the fact that I enjoy my freedom so much, 3 almost 4 years is a loooooooong time for a single committment to just one guy...

LP: Easier To Run

LINKIN PARK LYRICS

"Easier To Run"

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Linkin Park: NUMB

LINKIN PARK LYRICS

"Numb"

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Why?

Ok, so I lied. This is the last thing I have to say to you: WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT MY SILENCE IS MY WAY OF GIVING YOU TIME TO COPE????!!!!!!!!!!
Look, I'm trying to help you out because although you say you NEED to hear my voice to gain the closure you seek, I know it wouldn't be a good idea. So please understand....

dearest Kiaria

Dearest Kiaria, as you well know I only wish the best for you. I am glad that I have been able to help you in anyway possible. Love always Kehneshrae

My Thanks To Everyone Who's Contributed.....

To Vetah and Kehnesh:
Thanx for helping me through this. I'm very thankful that I've had the opportunities to meet both of you and get to know both of you, along with being drawn into your group, and I wanted to tell you I'm keeping my chin up. I'm standing tall and standing strong through all of this, and that I won't give into whatever I may feel.
Kehnesh, you're definitely like a younger sister to me, and talking to you as well as hanging out with you has been...hmmm...interesting, but in a good way. LOL. You've given me a lot of good advice...
Vetah, thanks for talkin to me last night. I can't remember the last time I felt that way....but I knew you understood exactly how I felt, so thanks for cheerin me up. *wink wink*
To you, MOM:
Thanks for all the phone calls asking how I'm holding up. I've actually enjoyed our conversations, because they've all been quite refreshing.

Purged

Well, I am now able to admit that I have finally purged myself of the guilt I felt for breaking up with you. That is one point of control I have finally and completely taken back from you. I wanted to tell you this, in case you continue reading my blog as I believe you will, that these are my final words to you:
My greatest wish for you is that you find true happiness, since I'm no longer up to the task. I know you loved me deeply, and I know you'll try and say that if I truly wanted your happiness I would have stayed with you, but *sigh* that wasn't possible, and despite what you say, I'm sure you'll find someone who's even more perfect for you than I EVER was. It will take time, but I'm sure it will come to pass. I'm sorry things ended this way, but again, you forced my hand, and I can't help the fact you didn't like what cards I dealt you. You and I both knew this event was long in coming, and that sooner or later the shit was going to hit the fan. I was sick of leading you on, because it only allowed you to entertain ideas concerning the possibility of a future with me. I warned you that this time felt different; I couldn't explain it, but I just knew it.
I also wanted to point out the major exaggeration from your blog:
I've been used for seven years to get her what she wanted from me and now she does not need it.
That's not true, nor has it ever been true. I truly did love you all those years, but the way and the extent of how you pushed me away this time was most deffinitely the "straw that broke the camel's back," so to speak. I will congratulate you when you stated I didn't need you. I never once intended or wanted that to happen, let alone become true, yet it did.
I'm going to stay out of your life, considering I know how much seeing me would eat you alive. So I'll spare you any further pain and I will make sure your things are returned as soon as possible.
So good bye, and good luck.....

Just Wanted You To Know

I was listening to this song last night, when I realized how easy it is for be to be so cold, how easy it is for me to be so numb. The lyrics from this song that fit me best are:
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
I HAVE stopped the pain. I HAVE willed it all away. I really am numb, and I wanted you to know that. I feel NOTHING right now, not one damn thing. You may have cut me with your remarks, but my wounds heal quickly. Those comments are to me now nothing but a memory. And as for hurting you, you were the one who taught me how to verbally arm myself and how to wield my words against you to get what I wanted. It all comes down to "monkey see, monkey do." I only used what I learned. So I guess you can pat yourself on your back, for you taught me well.
I have to admit. I'm suprised you even had the balls to outright call me a whore, and on this site, might I add. But I'm not suprised to see that my sis knocked you down a peg or two. One thing you underestimated about me is this, so learn it quick, and learn it now: LOYALTY. I'm in their circle now, and they protect me as one of thier own, just as I'd do for them.
In other words, from now on, you mess with me and you're not just messing with me, but with them as well....

I Won't Go Back

No. I won't go back to you. I'm sorry for hurting you, but I will NEVER go back....

EVANESCENCE LYRICS

"Going Under"

Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming Deceiving and Bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
(I�m going under)
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again

I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again

I'm going under
Drowing in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through

So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under

Memories

Memories flash before your eyes
As you desparately fight to preserve them.
The people, the events, the conversations
All fall through like grains of sand
Until the realization comes to light,
You must let go to move into your journey's next phase.

For Fear of Hurting You....

My hands tremble as I type this, and tears well in my eyes. God, I don't want to hurt you, and I know I did. I'm so sorry I did, but I only did what I had to do to stop hurting you, ever again.

LINKIN PARK LYRICS


"Breaking The Habit"

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

[Bridge:]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

[Bridge:]
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight

Kehnesh & I's Favorite Song

For all of you who think you know me, you really know nothing about me. If I could hide myself away from you all (Khenesh and Vetah excluded), I would. God only knows I would.
This song is my one of my absolute faves, especially since the chorus says everything I feel:
And I don’t want the world to see me!
’Cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
So, I say this to Khenesh and Vetah, thanx for being there.......


Goo Goo Dolls- Iris

And I’d give up forever to touch you.
’Cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be.
And I don’t want to go home right now.
And all I can taste is this moment.
And all I can breathe is your life.
’Cause sooner or later it’s over.
I just don’t want to miss you tonight.
And I don’t want the world to see me!
’Cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken...
I just want you to know who I am!
And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming ...
Or the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive!
And I don’t want the world to see me!
’Cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
And I don’t want the world to see me!
’Cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
And I don’t want the world to see me!
’Cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am!
I just want you to know who I am!
I just want you to know who I am!
I just want you to know who I am!

Not Needed

*Shit. I'm preparing to do one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, take my freedom back from the one I loved the most.*


If you read this, I'm sorry for hurting you, but it's the only way I could make you see how unhappy I really am. Yes, we had a great time Sunday, and yes, I said I thought it could work, but the truth of the matter is that this relationship isn't going to work...and I'm sorry. Hate me if you wish. Never speak to me again. I'll understand. Why would you want to stay with someone after you've devoted your life to making them happy, when they no longer allow you your happiness? To answer the question you asked me when we played risk, my answer is "No." I couldn't. I couldn't be in a relationship where I don't love the person I'm with...
SO TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU HATE ME FOR HURTING YOU. SCREAM IT AT ME IF YOU WANT!!!!!! TELL ME YOU NEVER WANT TO EVER SEE ME AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!
Staying with you when I know how I feel is tearing me apart, but what hurts the worst is your delusion that this relationship CAN and WILL last, and watching you try to hold onto what isn't there anymore because of it. I really do wish I could just wish these feelings away, but I can't dammit. Knowing you exercise the power you have over me is killing me a little every time I talk to you. Every time I come to you knowing EXACTLY what I want concerning "US" and tell you, you always find some way of making me feel guilty about how I feel, whether you realize it or not, and so because of my guilt I continue to let you cage me, but now I just can't take it anymore.
It's time to let me go. Why can't you realize that? All I want is to stop hurting you, but I can't stop hurting you until you let... me... go.

Frat Parties and Booze

Tonight was the first night of the frat parties and I went regardless of what anyone said, despite the many fears of those i know concerning me and alchohol. Although some may have accused me of drinking, I actually didn't touch a drop. I wanted to. God only knows how much I wanted to join in on the drinking games, but I didn't. I actually walked away and didn't turn back.
So come on people. Give me the benefit of the doubt. Just because I don't always make the right choice doesn't mean I don't learn from my mistakes. Next time, don't doubt me.

Hope It Helps...

Kehnesh, I found this song that sounds so much like what your going through.....

The Real Folk Blues

It's too late to cry I love you. The wind still blowing, my heart still aching

One side of my eyes see tomorrow, And the other one see yesterday I hope I could sleep in the cradle of your love, again

Cry for me, somebody, with dry eyes

*The real folk blues I just want to feel a real sorrow It's not bad a life in the muddy river If life is once

Hopeless hope, and the chance with traps What is right, or wrong It's like a both side of a coin

How long I must live till I release?

The real folk blues I just want to feel a real pleasure All that glitters is not gold

*repeat

Life At College2

That one completely messed up my sched, so here it is.....again:

MWF
8:30A-9:20A Bio
9:30A-10:20A Composition
11:30A-12:20P Spanish

TTh
8A-10:40A Bio Lab
12:30P-1:20P 1st Yr Seminar

Life At College...

I officially moved into my dorm this past saterday morning. it was an experience like none I've ever had. My family went over with me to help me move in, and once it was finished, we all ate lunch together. They all left right after and the one wish I had for them was ultimately granted: I didn't want any of them to cry for me because they were leaving me behind, but I wanted them all to be happy for me, encouraged that this once in a lifetime chance would give me the opportunity to grow and flourish into the person I'm destined to become.
When I first moved in here, I had already been talking to my roommate, so I knew we would get along fine. Well, having a roommate only lasted 3 days. I went up to my room last night and opened my door to find....all her stuff was gone. The microfridge, the food, the phone, the drinks, the tv and even the carpet was gone. At first I panicked. I thought I might have done something that caused her to move out, until I found the note she left. "The room I really wanted opened up. Sorry I didn't get to tell you face to face." *nods head* Sure you did. You only took what little food I actually owned with you....Needless to say I'm fine with it now. I actually like the thought of having my own room. It's what I'm used to. Now I don't have to worry about waking her up when I come in late at night. Now I can decorate it any way I want. I even have more room to actually do my homework.I even get my complete privacy back, although I'm going to start leaving my door open so peeps can stop in and say hi if they want to. And things are already looking up anyway. I'll be getting a microfridge and replacements for all the things she brought with her, then took away.
And for those of you that care, I'm doing pretty well in college. And for those of you who like to call me on my cell (since it's the only phone I have) during classes, here's my sched:

MWF TTh
8:30A-9:20A Bio 8A-10:40A Bio Lab
9:30A-10:20A Composition 12:30P-1:20P 1st Yr Seminar
10:30A-11:20A Spanish Lit
11:30A-12:20P Spanish

Please people! Don't call me during these times! I need to concentrate on the class, not the vibrate mode on my phone because peeps repeatedly call me.