Distinction
It feels so good to be on this blog again. I thought I was done on here, but apparently I'm not.
While re-reading some of my old posts, I realized that for some of you, a distinction must be made. In my previous entries, I mentioned the name Sean. There is a separation that I have to make with this name. There is Sean, and there's "Sean".
It is not Sean that I hold in such vehemence. Sean was my brother, as he was once Azriel's as well. "Sean" is the imposter that I loathe and contest. "Sean" is nothing more than a vicious, malevolent imposter. One who distroyed the brother I cared about. (I'm not going to go into details about how the imposter came to be, so don't even ask.)
Deep down, I know that Sean cared about you Kehn, cared about Az and I. Why else would he have pushed so hard to get Az and I together? How do I know? Because Sean's last great gift to his brother was....happiness, knowing that he would be loved and cared about, that he would never have to worry about being alone ever again. "Sean", however, couldn't stand Az being happy and tried to ruin it by splitting us apart via lies.
Kehn, I don't know if I ever told you this, but I felt Sean's presence at Az and I's wedding. It was like it was his last gift to us, his way of saying goodbye. Since then, neither Az nor I have ever felt his essence again.
Sean was good. He just dove too far into very dark stuff and couldn't get back out.
While re-reading some of my old posts, I realized that for some of you, a distinction must be made. In my previous entries, I mentioned the name Sean. There is a separation that I have to make with this name. There is Sean, and there's "Sean".
It is not Sean that I hold in such vehemence. Sean was my brother, as he was once Azriel's as well. "Sean" is the imposter that I loathe and contest. "Sean" is nothing more than a vicious, malevolent imposter. One who distroyed the brother I cared about. (I'm not going to go into details about how the imposter came to be, so don't even ask.)
Deep down, I know that Sean cared about you Kehn, cared about Az and I. Why else would he have pushed so hard to get Az and I together? How do I know? Because Sean's last great gift to his brother was....happiness, knowing that he would be loved and cared about, that he would never have to worry about being alone ever again. "Sean", however, couldn't stand Az being happy and tried to ruin it by splitting us apart via lies.
Kehn, I don't know if I ever told you this, but I felt Sean's presence at Az and I's wedding. It was like it was his last gift to us, his way of saying goodbye. Since then, neither Az nor I have ever felt his essence again.
Sean was good. He just dove too far into very dark stuff and couldn't get back out.
posted by Heshuutnah at 6:53 AM
1 Comments:
I am glad for both you and Az, I know that deep down Sean did care about Az and I am sure that he cared about me as well. He gave you two a great gift and one that I am sure will last the rest of your lifetimes. Wether he meant to or not he gave me the same kind of gift. When we met I wasn't happy with myself or my life, none of it mattered to me and I was going down a road that would have killed me eventually. I walked into T.J Chumps that night and through everything that has happened these past 4 years I don't regret any of it because he gave me Daemon. I truly miss and love Sean, and hopefully we will be able to keep the good memories and overcome the bad. Congradulations sis.
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