Nothing New

First of all, this weekend has been absolutely incredible, with the exception of some of the mind games played...

For once I finally got to fall asleep in my fiancee's arms, only to wake up right beside him. It gives me chills just thinking about how things will be once Az and I are married.
Last night I finally confronted one of my greatest issues: Me having children. Two men I know have always told me I would make a great mother, yet I always doubted them. I realized that whenever I thought about having children while I was with DS, that thought terrified me. I was worried that I would abuse them if I ever got angry at them, especially when I punished them. Now that I'm with Az, I can honestly say that for the first time in my life, I no longer worry about abusing whatever children I may have. Why? Because he did something DS never could do, Az helped me get my anger under control, and is continually helping me KEEP it under control. THAT'S why I no longer fear having children....
I finally got a chance to talk to my little brother and he's not too happy about my decision to drop out of college into order to prepare for my future family, but as I told him, it's MY life, MY choice, and I know I'm doing the right thing despite what others may say....
Ho hum.....I'd love to say more, but there's not really anything else to say...

EXCEPT for...

DS, I'm sorry all I do is torture you. I would stop those dreams if I could, so that you could finally be at peace and move on. Shit, I'd even erase myself from your memories so you could forget ALL ABOUT me.....and btw, Az would like to meet you....