*Deep Sigh*
What can I say? I talked to my little brother last night/this morning, and the side of him I thought was dead came out to prove me wrong, something I'm extremely happy about......but that doesn't stop me from missing him, or help my antsyness waiting for him to come back home. So I guess you could say I'm kind of stuck in a rut. An uphill/downhill battle with my emotions (damn them....).
I've been spending so much time with my new b/f lately, and I find it's getting harder and harder to leave his side.....and unfortunately, this scenario sounds and feels all too familiar to me. (Just please don't feel bad when you read this babe. It's nothing you can help...I just have a lot of things to deal with, but I'll get through them in time, I promise.) Sometimes I honestly wish I could just erase the memories I have of my ex, but as Vetah pointed out, those memories are part of who I am. And Vetah, you'll be surprised to find out Vera pretty much told me the same thing you did, but in a different way. Her words to me were, "Don't try to forget the memories, because you learned important lessons from your time with him. If you forget them, you'll also forget the lessons you learned.....", just as she also pointed out that our uncanny timing was determined by fate, so I could have a chance with my new and current b/f......and let me tell you, I don't regret one minute I've spent with him.....
All I can say is that life is full of ironies, things that you want to turn out a particular way, only to turn out a completely different way than you had ever expected.
On a much different note, I am currently struggling in college. Those of you who know me know I have problems with a lack of motivation to do things, and because of that, I fall behind. Well, the same thing has happened yet again. My time here has become Sinclair all over again, but this time is different. This time I'm not giving up. This time I'm taking the initiative to set things right..........if I'm even allowed to correct them, that is. Once again I've screwed up, and now I'm working on my 2nd strike. I just hope I can keep the hammer from dropping........
(And Mom, do me a favor, don't even ask about college......please? I'll tell you how things are going once I get them all worked out.....)
I've been spending so much time with my new b/f lately, and I find it's getting harder and harder to leave his side.....and unfortunately, this scenario sounds and feels all too familiar to me. (Just please don't feel bad when you read this babe. It's nothing you can help...I just have a lot of things to deal with, but I'll get through them in time, I promise.) Sometimes I honestly wish I could just erase the memories I have of my ex, but as Vetah pointed out, those memories are part of who I am. And Vetah, you'll be surprised to find out Vera pretty much told me the same thing you did, but in a different way. Her words to me were, "Don't try to forget the memories, because you learned important lessons from your time with him. If you forget them, you'll also forget the lessons you learned.....", just as she also pointed out that our uncanny timing was determined by fate, so I could have a chance with my new and current b/f......and let me tell you, I don't regret one minute I've spent with him.....
All I can say is that life is full of ironies, things that you want to turn out a particular way, only to turn out a completely different way than you had ever expected.
On a much different note, I am currently struggling in college. Those of you who know me know I have problems with a lack of motivation to do things, and because of that, I fall behind. Well, the same thing has happened yet again. My time here has become Sinclair all over again, but this time is different. This time I'm not giving up. This time I'm taking the initiative to set things right..........if I'm even allowed to correct them, that is. Once again I've screwed up, and now I'm working on my 2nd strike. I just hope I can keep the hammer from dropping........
(And Mom, do me a favor, don't even ask about college......please? I'll tell you how things are going once I get them all worked out.....)
posted by Heshuutnah at 10:19 AM
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