Freaking Out

Well, my readers, I apologize for not posting in over a week, but I've been busy preparing for college. It is now only 4 more days until I move into my dorm, and I'm literally freaking out. Everything in my life has changed too much too fast this year and I don't know how much more of this I can handle. Inside I feel as though I'm breaking, like I'm falling apart, like everything's spiraling out of my control and there's nothing I can do about it. The good thing is that I've been talking to my future room-mate and it sounds like we'll get along rather well. But that doesn't help how terrified I'm feeling right now. So many people are placing their faith in me. They're absolutely confident I can and will succeed in college, and I'm sitting here, despite all my supporters, and I'm afraid of failing, afraid of being alone. This is my last chance to fulfill my dream of going to college, and if I mess it up this time, I've lost for good. For me it's 2 strikes and I'm out, I don't get a third.
Every time I try to pack my stuff, I can't help but think about everything I'm leaving behind, how everything's going to change and nothing will ever be the same. All my fears rise to the surface and it's those times I honestly don't feel I'll ever be alright. I've purposely delayed my packing because it's a constant reminder of all the things I'm going to miss once I've left. I'm so used to living with my family that I know I'm going to miss them all so much. I'm so used to my dog knowing when I feel my worst that she comes in and sleeps on my bed, just to comfort me. Once I get to college, I won't have any of that except when I go back home, and it's hitting me very hard.