Seeing Through the Facades

It's always so frustrating when you try so hard to hide how you're really feeling, only people around you still see right through you. Several people I know can lock their emotions away, yet whenever I try the same thing, it never really works. For example: back before my boyfriend and I smoothed out our relationship, I was trying to hide how I really felt because I wasn't ready to tell him, yet he figured it out anyway. All the arguing I've been doing with my family, I've been trying to hide my reasoning behind that, but despite how much I tried not to let people catch on, my mother still figured it out. I guess with me being so ready to go off to college, I've been taking a lot of things for granted. My family used to hold birthday parties for everyone in the family and for the longest time I said I didn't want to go to any of them. Thing is, I actually miss the parties. I've argued so much lately with my mom, dad and sister because I was trying sever the ties so I wouldn't miss them while I'm at college, yet again, I was only fooling myself. Regardless of how I'd like to not miss any of them at times, I know I will. And at this point, just like alwayse, despite how frustrated I get with those three, I wouldn't trade any of them for anything in the world. We've had our fair share of ups and downs, but they've always been there for me, just like I've done for them.